The grass IS greener

This past week I have been feeling very restless. I feel like I should be out in the world doing something. I cannot wait to start biking again. I feel cooped up, and anxious. I need to start doing something. I know that this has been my most successful semester in school, but I still feel like I’m spinning my wheels.
This past Wednesday I went to a lecture about a guy who biked across the Himalayas. Needless to say, it struck a vein. I have not stopped thinking about how I could just pack my stuff, put on my helmet, clip in, and pedal across the country. It never fails to amaze me how one person can just throw all caution to the wind and set out on a journey like that. I am the kind of person who must have all bases covered when I travel. I am secretly terrified of leaving something behind that I'll need. If you were to randomly look through the things I put in my luggage, you would probably be able to stock a small CVS or Walgreens. For instance band aids; when I’m at home I never use band aids. But sit me in a car or on a plane, and chances are I’ll have enough band aids to cover weeks and weeks of paper cuts and scraped knees.
Another thing that keeps me from touring the world perched upon my bike is that I’m scared of what will happen to my head. I’m afraid that after a week or two of me and the open road, I’ll fall off the deep end. I’ll grow a beard, and let my hair get long, but not too long, and maybe start wearing earthy necklaces. You know the type. The kind of person who if asked why they rode their bike from coast to coast they answer, “To kill time”, or “Just to go”, or “To see stuff”.
I knew some twins in high school, who have since gotten into cycling. They used to live down the street from me. We had the kind of friendship that if no one else was able to hang out, we would. Last resort friends I guess. We don’t keep in touch, but I see their Facebook updates from time to time. One is in the military and living in Hawaii. He will post things like, ____ just got 14th in the Big Island tri, or ____ is ready to dominate Makaha cat 4/5 (Which is a category 4 and 5 time trial). Whenever I see stuff like that I have this unique feeling of jealousy. I always feel so petty Facebook stalking them, even more so for feeling so jealous.
Every year about this time, I experience the same feeling. Like I want to travel, or build something, any activity with a purpose. I know I only lived in Colorado for a month or so, but it felt longer than that. It was long enough that I knew the highways, I knew plenty of good places to eat, where to buy groceries, how to get to the airport; I felt like a local. Most importantly, I felt like my life had a purpose. Seeing God’s work being done everyday in that warehouse was unlike anything I have ever been a part of. I loved it. Each day had a purpose, and the progress was measurable. Every morning as I walked in I could check the big sign and see how many boxes we had processed. Now that I’m back into my normal routine in Indianapolis, I feel like I don’t know what my purpose is.
It’s a grass is always greener thing. The grass is greener in Hawaii, where you can bike and be outside year-round. The grass is greener in Colorado, because of the mountains, and the skiing, and awesome, well awesome everything. The grass is greener wherever it is warm and people can enjoy being outside. The grass is greener anywhere with a view. Where is the grass not green? Indiana; it’s under a foot of snow.